if a gorilla had social anxiety

Joined July 2011
Lil' Zebrastian
The @HogleZoo has a new baby in town! What should her name be?
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Closing a bread bag by spinning it and laying the bread down on the twist is mans great contribution to domestic life.
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riboflavin retweeted
Mfs really think a 30 min drive is long? it's 3 ten mins, grow up
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riboflavin retweeted
Yoko Ono did not break up the Beatles. Maxwell broke up the Beatles. With his silver hammer.
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tried to warn you
the status quo for 95% of sports fans is sadness. if you aren't sad now, you will be soon.
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okay, i'll bite. what's health insurance.
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riboflavin retweeted
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riboflavin retweeted
Probably just found a better home.
You guys remember storm? The red tailed hawk we trained to fly into our stadium for one season and when he was finally let loose he turned around and left the stadium and never returned. I wonder where he is if he’s living a happy life?
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day 4 of "i'm not mad at all, i just want to point out that your joke is factually incorrect as byu is not in the pac-12 south."
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5: why don’t we have an elf-on-the-shelf? me: oh honey, it’s not that we don’t love you, it’s just that we don’t hate ourselves
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the outrage a few are showing about the pac-12 south title joke is orders of magnitude funnier than the joke itself.
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we had to sit through about 10 years of sub-par jokes you all were putting on t-shirts. now it's your turn
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whenever someone tells me money is tight i'm like i know it's the frickin best.
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the status quo for 95% of sports fans is sadness. if you aren't sad now, you will be soon.
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I don't think I've ever heard something that sounds as much like a conspiracy theory but isn't as "there are only 25 blimps".
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riboflavin retweeted
Imagine farting so good that the King gives you a 30 acre estate. Imagine someone farting so good, that you're reading about them right now, 900 years later.
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big Karen vibes
This tweet is unavailable
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